Forever Hopeful {open}

[Cursed Heavens {Uzuri Grace}]

{xxx}

~Jasmine walked out of the bus along with her brothers and sisters and her mother. She found her brothers and Daisy running into the clearing and started pouncing on each other. Jasmine blinked and glanced one eye with her mouth lightly gaped but she usually has her jaw loosened like that when she feels a bit depressed, tired or in deep thinking. She was a bit depressed, this place stinks, the reek of garbage is disgusting so much that her eyes burn. This place is so pitiful that its hard for even a tiny bit of grass is hard to find. Ursa was beside Ana, that paused and watched her children. Jasmine looked away from her mother and sister. She looked at the sky and found the sun way above the horizon, still the humid air proved the day was just starting. Her eyes were half open, looking a bit sad and tired at the same time. She isn't though, she doesn't feel that way anyway, she just in deep thought. Jasmine looked away and watched her brothers and sister playing. Her heart grew hard, her sad eyes hardened along with it and her jaw clamped shut. When it does it means that she has made up her mind and is determined. One thing about Jasmine when she makes up her mind there is no way to change it. She's more stubborn than her mother.~

{xxx}

~She padded forward clumsily to her siblings. Jasmine growled in frustration of her clumsiness. She tripped under her big paws and stumbled between her siblings. They broke apart and watched her as she tried to get herself up. She growled in frustration for a moment as she got to her paws. The husky and shepherd mix opened her eyes as she tried to keep herself calm. "Hey can I play with you guys?" her brothers and sister looked at each other uncertainly. Jasmine blinked and huffed her big chest. She knows that look, its the same look everyone gives her. Jasmine knew what their reply would be "Jasmine we don't want you to get hurt, you know what Papa would do if you get hurt." It irritated her so bad that it made her fur bristle in anger. She hates thoughts looks, hates those damn looks. It sickens her more than the stupid junkyard does. Before they could respond to her question she padded away. Away from the bus, away from her family as she went off to try and do something for the day. Like her father she doesn't want to just waste her whole day playing with her brothers and sisters. Though she does wish she could sometimes, but her siblings are just like her father, doesn't want her to get hurt. It's her father's fault, he doesn't want her to get hurt because of her paw, and since her father is chief he has a lot of power. It's irritating that her father doesn't have any faith in her, its not just because of her paw, no its just an excuse. He doesn't want her to get hurt because she looks just like her mother. To him she is his little flower. Her mother told her that her father gave her the name by a beautiful and sweet smelling flower.~

{xxx}

~Jasmine spotted something up ahead. She found a two dogs leaving the yard, going through the entrance. Jasmine padded up slowly and sat down behind the pile of garbage and still being able to watch the dogs. They are the cooks, hunters going to go scavenge for food or hunt. Jasmine wished she could go with them. They are probably going to go to the park or anywhere where plants would be since prey would be there along with water. Jasmine yearned to see plants, to see a bush, flowers or a field of grass instead of seeing just a twig of grass or broken branches. She also want to see a tree, she wants to know if what they say on how big they are were true or not. Yet she knew that she wouldn't be able to go, she was so young. It wasn't just that though, if a dog took her along they are going to be punished by Dusk. They knew that and they won't even allow it. Her siblings wouldn't be aloud to go either since their the chief's children but even if she was old enough to go she doubt they would let her. Jasmine rose her right twisted paw, though her large paws makes her clumsy, she knew she would be able to grow out of it like her father did. She knew because Zytka told her, she knows everything about Dusk. Yet she knew she will forever be clumsy because of her twisted paw, its the complete source to her clumsiness. It was the reason why she tripped between her siblings. "Why?" she asked herself, her eyes flaring with anger. 'Why' has become her favorite word, she always asks herself that question about her weakness. Why can't she be like everyone else? Why is she born with this paw? Why? Why? Why?! Jasmine slammed her paw down, eyes clamped tightly shut. She hates being weak. Jasmine can just picture her life being a dead weight to this Pack, always depending on others to help her. "No," she opened her eyes, they narrowed with the blazing anger burning with her teeth showing. When she looks like that, be warned to run away, but its not just a look of anger its a blazing look of determination, its the look that she has made up her mind.~

[::Fox::]

The day had started nicely, as nicely as it could in a place full of human garbage. Ursa was used to the smell of rusting metal and dogs, to her it smelled like home. She liked Daddy and Mommy's descriptions of other things though, liked the idea of smelling so many other living things and odd human things that didn't make her wrinkle her nose. The old bus they slept in didn't smell so bad, not like the rest of the yard. It smelled more like home than anything else. It smelled like Zytka, Mommy, Daddy, all of Ursa's siblings. It was home. Zytka sometimes frowned at that since supposedly it was supposed to be just Zytka's home. Ursa felt bad, thinking that her family was where they weren't wanted, in Zytka's personal space constantly. Even though she was still really young, Ursa knew Zytka could be odd. It was normal to Ursa but strange compared to other Morgs she had met. Now, sitting next to her Mommy, Ursa watched her siblings outside of the bus. She didn't go join their roughing around. It wasn't fun to her, she just didn't like pushing people around. Daisy, Sin, Apollo and Koda were more into that than she was. Jasmine would do it too if Daddy wasn't so strict on them not hurting her. Mommy argued with him about it sometimes, saying Jasmine should have the same chances to play as her siblings.

Now, looking around, Ursa spotted Jasmine's limping, stumbling form as she made her way toward the others. Flicking her ears up, Ursa tensed a little. No good ever came of when Jasmine tried to play. She always made the others feel bad and Ursa knew Mommy didn't like it. It always made Daddy grumpy and Jasmine even more angry than she usually was. Ursa just hated it. Blue-grey eyes watched as her dark-furred sister said something to the others that made them stop romping and playing. Next to her, Ursa felt Mommy tense. Sin said something to Jasmine, probably the typical answer, blaming Daddy or whatever for them not letting Jasmine play. Ursa felt something inside her twist.

Jasmine was off before anybody could call her back, leaving the bus and away from their play area. Ursa leaped to her paws and watched Jasmine go. She wasn't older than any of them by much but, Ursa was the firstborn, Mommy had told her so. It made her feel...responsible, for her siblings, for their happiness, for their safety. They would all deny needing any kind of protection, Ursa knew it but, she wanted to offer it anyway. Watching Jasmine walk away looking the maddest Ursa had ever seen her wasn't what Ursa wanted.

"Go follow her," Mommy murmured, nudging Ursa's shoulder softly. "Make sure she's okay, alright?"

Ursa turned her head and rubbed her smaller muzzle against her mother's before getting up. Her rose-gold fur was slightly ruffled but she didn't bother to fix it. Jogging past the others, Ursa left her family behind following Jasmine's steps. She'd lost sight of her sister but, Ursa was determined and she had a keen nose. Dusty as the scent may have been, Ursa was still able to find her sister's familiar smell. After a while of tracking her sister, Ursa came around a curve in the path between garbage piles and saw the front gates of the junkyard. Farther down the street outside, she saw two dogs jogging off, probably hunters that promised a good meal for later. Ursa wasn't interested in that though. She was far more interested in Jasmine whom was standing watching them leave with her blue eyes narrowed looking determined and angry all at once.

Heart rate spiking, Ursa tensed. Was Jasmine thinking of leaving the junkyard? That would make both Mommy and Daddy mad, madder than anything else. It was their big rule that they don't leave, not yet, not while they were so small. Would Jasmine do it? Ursa watched for a moment. Jasmine didn't move so, Ursa did.

Moving slowly, Ursa padded toward her darker-furred sister, foggy blue-grey eyes worried. She didn't approach like she was challenging but, she didn't want to look like she'd back down as soon as Jasmine started to yell. Ursa knew Jasmine had a temper, a temper like Mommy's, she'd get loud and mean but Ursa kept telling herself it would be okay. Jasmine was mad, she had right to be too. Jasmine would say things but deep down she wouldn't mean them. With that thought in mind, Ursa crept up and gently brushed her nose against her sister's dark-furred hip.

"Jazz?" Ursa said softly. "You won't follow them, will you? Not until Dad says you can, right?"

She drew back a little, sitting back on her small haunches. Her white paws stood out on the dusty ground, her rosy gold fur soft with youth. Her blue eyes, greyer than any of her siblings' looked worried and sympathetic, hoping Jasmine wouldn't do something foolish.

[Cursed Heavens {Uzuri Grace}]

{xxx}

~She watched the dogs go and thought more about her future. As she thought about it her jaw loosened and partly gaped to a deep thinking look. She was sure of her future if she doesn't do something. Jasmine can just picture it, her future as an adult. She would be beautiful by coat but weak by body since she didn't learn how to hunt nor fight. Her muscles never build, doesn't matter if she was born just like her father was. Muscles grow by the life you take and the battles you fight. Dusk had fought all his life, hunt from such a young age, his body formed because of his determination to survive. Yet if Jasmine doesn't do the same but instead live in a life where you have everyone to look after you, the determination is lost and the muscles in her will never build like her father's. Jasmine was young yes, but she isn't stupid. It comes to being raised by her mother and aunt. Yes she calls Zytka her aunt most of the time instead of her real name. She couldn't really call her Mama now could she? Zytka had been with the pups ever since they were born so of course Jasmine would see the fem as another parent to her. Yet unlike her parents Zytka doesn't take it easy on her and plays rough with her sometimes. Away from her father and everyone so they wouldn't notice. Zytka knows what Jasmine wants and needs and gives her that without fear of Papa. It's warming to know about Zytka, weird as she may be. Though several things bothers her when she is around that black husky. For one she seems bothered by dogs being in her bus, she knew she wanted her own privacy. Yet she never speaks of it or and when the pups are fine enough to go around and with the junkyard it would be easy to find a new place to sleep. She heard from her mother and father that it was Zytka that volunteered to take the family in her den. Jasmine knew Zytka wasn't stupid and would know what would happen if she let a mother and her six pups live in her bus.~

{xxx}

~Sometimes Jasmine could see something in Zytka. Something that troubles her and makes Zytka sad. Jasmine never asked why but instead tried to cheer her aunt up and change the subject. Sure she likes to know things but she will never pry on someone that doesn't want to speak of it or is troubled. Yes, Jasmine is a pain in the butt like her mother and likes to get into things, but she loves everyone around her and wants to protect them as much as she wants to protect innocent dogs. She wants to be just like her father, yes just like him. Anastasia told her about the time where she had almost been raped by a daemon German Shepherd at the City Center. About how Dusk rushed in and saved her from the daemon. From what her mother told her Papa only used a single attack, a headbutt on the daemon and the battle was over. The German Shepherd limping away from a broken shoulder where Dusk's attack hit. It was Jasmine's favorite story, favorite part other than the argument her parents had after that. Ever since she first heard that story she kept playing it over and over in her head. There was no doubt that her Papa was the strongest, she bet he could have taken down Axel. And there was no doubt she wanted to be someone as strong as her papa. She wants to be just like him when she grows up, not a pathetic fem that counts on others to get through the hard times. That is not her and she wont become that either.~

{xxx}

~Jasmine blinked in surprise when she felt something touch her hip. She turned to who it was and found her sister Ursa looking at her. The girl blinked with her baby blue eyes at her sister before clenching her teeth together. Frustration showed in her eyes but she didn't say anything though she wanted to with all her heart. It was that damn look again. She hates that look so damn much. It's the concerned look that everyone gives her. They feel sorry for her, her mother, her siblings, everyone. They pity her as much as worry about her safety because she had to have a weak paw. She hates this, its not fair that her brothers and sisters get to dream about their future and get to choose what to be and that. It's not fair! Jasmine dreams as much as them but can never tell anyone, can never show it. No matter what her dreams are everyone would just think its too dangerous. Her brothers and sisters don't know what their future will be but what ever it is she knew it would be great. They would grow up strong, become a firefighter, a hunter, anything they wish would come true for them. She knew what her future would be, she would be the omega of the pack. Jasmine would be its weak point.~

{xxx}

~"Jazz?" Ursa spoke, her voice glinted in worry, "You won't follow them, will you? Not until Dad says you can, right?" Jasmine widened her eyes in horror and gaped her jaw a bit in surprise. What was her sister thinking, like she would do that, she isn't stupid. Though she wants to so much. Yet she knew if she tried they would just send her back. It wasn't about following them that made her body go pale, it was the the last question about Papa letting her go or not. Am I just to be a prisoner here? forever locked inside this junkyard? She thought. Jasmine knew that her father will never allow her to leave without dogs with her. She wished she didn't look like her mother or have a twisted paw, because she knew that because of her Ana and Dusk argue. It's all because of her that it happens. Jasmine closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep herself calm and under control. "What are you babbling about Ursa? You know as well as I do Papa is never going to allow me to leave." She turned to her sister and sat down. She lifted her right paw, its twisted. It looked more noticeable now that she was getting older. Before when she was very young it was beyond noticeable. Everyone knew when she got to her paws and started to walk funny. At first everyone thought it was just because of her big paws but thin the constant tripping with her front right paw showed the real reason why she was so clumsy. "It's because of this paw," she whispered with a troubled sad look. Jasmine narrowed her eyes and they burned with determination. "No way am I going to be an omega." she growled angrily, her lips twitching. She stomped her paw down and got to her paws. Jasmine looked to the earth and narrowed her eyes at it. Zytka told her one time when she had been really upset. She didn't understand it and kept thinking about it every time she thought or looked at her paw. "Weakness is strength, strength is weakness" that was what Zytka said. Jasmine bit down hard and started to try and dig with her twisted paw. I will make my weakness into my strength and dull my greatest strength a bit. She thought with a resolved voice. I'm sure that's what she meant.~

[::Fox::]

Ursa's shady blue-grey eyes watched Jasmine turn toward her. She knew her words had made Jasmine mad, Jazz had such an expressive face that it wasn't hard to tell. There was the clenching in her jaw, the twitch of her ears, the slight narrowing in her eyes. Ursa's tail twitched in response. It had been a valid question, not one as stupid as Jasmine probably thought it was. She had no doubt her sister would make an escape if Dusk said she'd never be able to leave. Jasmine was just too wild to keep down, too determined to do what everyone said she couldn't. Ursa loved that about her sister. She felt heavy-hearted sometimes when she saw Jasmine stumble or sit gloomily by herself but Ursa always felt sure Jasmine would pick herself up and try again. Ursa knew she didn't have that kind of determination. She didn't have the discipline to be a good firefighter or the intelligence to be any kind of high ranking official. Ursa knew she wasn't physically strong like some would prefer. She followed her mother's figure more or less, fast and enduring, mentally strong, stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Ursa knew that because Mommy told her, promised she'd find a place to fit in, a place where she could protect everyone, a place where they wouldn't think she was weird for not fighting. Mommy said Ursa was strong in her own way and Ursa firmly believed that it counted for Jasmine too.

Jasmine spoke and raised her paw, as if Ursa hadn't seen it before. Again Ursa's tail twitched, the universal sign that a troubling thought was passing through the rose-gold femme. She knew part of what Jazz said was true. Dusk was reluctant with her because of the paw but, would Dusk really keep her prisoner? Daddy already knew that Mommy wouldn't be caged. Ursa had heard the stories of their arguments from Zytka and even a little from Mommy. Even if Jasmine hated it, she was like their mother. Jasmine didn't like the idea of being stuck in one place, forced into something she didn't want like being an omega. Ursa couldn't blame her. She might not fight or anything but Ursa wouldn't settle for being an omega. If there was anything all six pups had gotten from their mother, it was that they would never settle for second best or less than they were capable of.

When Jazz started trying to dig with the twisted paw, Ursa sighed softly and leaned forward. She touched her sister's shoulder to still her digging. "Jazz, it'll be okay," Ursa told her sister softly, blue eyes saying she plainly believed it. "You're strong and smart, just like Mommy and Daddy, they'd never make you an omega." Ursa nudged her sister's shoulder lightly, sitting back a little. "You're still able to get around, you can see and hear, you're nose works great, there's no reason you'd be made an omega."

Ursa knew Jasmine probably wouldn't believe her. She'd probably think Ursa was stupid but it was something Ursa was used to. She firmly believed that if there was just one thing wrong, there was no reason the rest wouldn't work just fine. If Jasmine could learn to fight just the right way, her paw shouldn't get in the way. Apollo was always going on about being the pack doctor someday but Ursa thought he was silly for it. He was a fool to think he was so much better than everyone else and she doubted he'd bother to do the work required. One sick dog and he'd probably be whining and complaining. Ursa loved him plenty and she'd help him if she could but, his personality was sometimes trying even for her. Jasmine could try doing that if she didn't want to fight. She always looked wistful when Mommy or Daddy told stories about other places in Harthorn where the ground was green and big old trees grew everywhere. Maybe plants and healing were Jasmine's calling? It would fit, what with her name being a flower and all. Then again, the same would go for Daisy right?

[Cursed Heavens {Uzuri Grace}]

{xxx}

~The tri-colored female pup felt she wasn't even scratching the ground. She knew if she worked with her other paw she would have made a good hole but with her twisted paw she doubted. Yet she knew she must practice, if she tries to make it her strength she will become strong and independent. No one will pity her or worry about her like she was so disabled that she can't look after herself. She wants that as much as her dreams to come true. Nothing she wants more to be is a warrior. She wants to see a lake like Zytka said. Showed her a puddle of water and told her a lake is just like that but far bigger, almost the size of the sky to make it clear by how big they can be. It fascinates her as much as everything else her Aunt told her. Like the plains of wheat and grass, corn fields with huge plants sticking out of the ground and holding cocoons of vegetables. She told her about, flower gardens and how beautiful they are with their sweet scents. Then there is the forests, covered with countless of trees, pine oak, willow, all kinds of trees in the forests with bramble, ferns, bracken bushes. She wants to taste the berries that Zytka said are in the forests, to see those plains, meadows, valleys, lakes, gardens, field of grass, she wants to see all of it. Jasmine wants to know every plant, know what they can do and everything possible. It's her dream to see it, as well as her dream to see daemons for the first time.~

{xxx}

~She felt Ursa touch her, making her pause on her digging. Jasmine looked up at her sister that was only older than her than several moments and a few heartbeats. She knew that her sister has a big heart and likes to cheer up everyone. Jasmine knew why her sister was here and why she wouldn't leave her alone, it was because she wants to help her. She knew as much as she does her brother Sin that loves playing rough as much as Jasmine does. She knew all her siblings a lot, she knows it even when she doesn't do anything. Jasmine knew that everyone around thinks she was just sulking or mopping around through those times. Maybe she was or maybe not. Jasmine always kept thinking about how to become strong like her father. That's her greatest wish, to become strong like him and run without worrying to trip, walk properly on all fours. Jasmine does not want to see the plants when she was still in this pathetic state with this pathetic paw of hers. "Jazz, it'll be okay," her sister told her softly, blue eyes filled with faith. "You're strong and smart, just like Mommy and Daddy, they'd never make you an omega." Ursa nudged Jasmine's shoulder lightly and sat back a little. Jasmine just blinked and listened to her sister. "You're still able to get around, you can see and hear, you're nose works great, there's no reason you'd be made an omega."~

{xxx}

~It seems her sister really believes that she won't be made an omega. That doesn't matter if her parents doesn't want her to be but they have no power to stop a dog from being the weakest link. Even though her father is chief of the pack it doesn't change the fact that she would be the weakest among them if she doesn't start doing something. Sure her father can change the ranks and destroy the weakest rank but only by name. Whenever there is a strong and powerful dog there is the weakest dog. It creates balance and alphas can't change that no matter how much they may try. Yet she knew she isn't going to be an omega, her parents may try to prevent it but she knew it would happen. The only dog that can prevent it is Jasmine herself. If she keeps mopping and sulking it won't change but if she works hard it will change. In this harsh world you can't depend on others too much to survive. If you do it would just get you killed that much easier. Jasmine bit back her sigh of frustration. It shows clearly that she is more like her mother than her father. Not just be appearance. Sure she has her mother's coat and her eyes but she has her father's body. She is more like her mother and a bit like her father, one trait she doesn't have from him for sure was his control of emotions. Especially his anger. "I know, but I can't run or walk properly." She protested it and thought about her parents and everyone. "Nothing will change for me if I depend on others, even if my parents say I am not the omega the fact would be clear to everyone that I wouldn't be able to be a cook if I can't chase my food, can't fight if I lose my ground. Sure my senses may be strong but grace speaks everything. Without it you are an omega. That's why I'm not going to depend on everyone." She got to her paws and tried to walk properly, pressing equal weight on her splayed paw. The moment she put it down properly on the ground with her other paws she tipped over. Jasmine turned and gained her paws before her head hit the earth and tried again to keep her balance. She is going to do her best to become strong, she would even ask for Zytka for help and her father. Jasmine is sure her father will help her, because she knows he isn't dumb. One day he would leave this world and she would be on her own. From what Zytka told her about Dusk's hardship she knew he would try to make her strong. To become stronger and more independent is the key to change her future.~

[::Fox::]

If Jazz was anything, it was brutally honest and sometimes a little too intuitive. Ursa knew what her sister said was true, that omega was only a word and there could be one dog as the strongest and one as the weakest no matter what anyone said. It was nature and no dog could defy nature. It would be like a dog talking sensibly to a human with both of them understanding each other, it just wouldn't happen. Still, Ursa clung to that faith that Jasmine would never sink so low. There would be no omega status for Jasmine, not if Jazz had anything to say about it. Ursa looked around her at the piles of junk all around them. It was a sorry place to live but, it was home. Jasmine didn't like it, Ursa always saw her sister wrinkling her nose out of the corner of her eye and the dreamy look she got when the adults told stories about forests full of towering trees and soft ferns, with rocks coated in slimy moss and all kinds of flowers with all sorts of smells. Ursa thought it would be nice to live in a place like that, where even the stone was softer underpaw than the jagged rusting metal on some of the crunched up human cars. It would be nice but, she wasn't expecting anything from it. This place was home and in a home there were always ranks, your leader and your follower, the strong and the weak, the fast and the slow. Jasmine saw that long before Ursa did and understood it far better maybe because she felt it more heavily.

Ursa wasn't a fighter but she wasn't disabled. Her ears were plenty keen, her eyes sharp, her legs strong, her coat thick and warm. She may be shy and reluctant sometimes but she was physically able. If trained right, even she would be able to fight an enemy. She would be able to run messages through Harthorn, jog around the junkyard for fun when she was bored and jump up a pile of cars with relative ease. She might not be the strongest, fastest or smartest but Ursa knew she was far from the weakest, slowest or dumbest. She hung in that comfortable middle ground, something she was content with, being a follower but not a leader, being the unseen guard that took orders for the one she guarded. Jasmine didn't have that comfortable middle. She felt the press to be the strongest, fastest and smartest to keep from being the slowest, dumbest and weakest. It was a bitter thing for both sisters, Jasmine to live with it and Ursa to understand it. The others didn't care because they were all above it. Apollo was smart, Sin was strong and fast, Daisy had the personality and pretty face, Koda was plenty strong. Ursa was quiet, soft-spoken and blended into the background while Jasmine struggled with her twisted paw and the rest of the world telling her she couldn't do anything. As grey-blue eyes followed Jasmine's attempts to walk without stumbling, Ursa felt her heart sink a little. It was indeed an unforgiving world they lived in.

"There are other things," Ursa said softly, watching Jasmine stumble but making no move to help her. She knew Jazz would just snap at her so, she stayed sitting. "You don't need to fight or run or hunt to be useful. You could be a doctor, then you could do everything you want. You could see those plants our parents tell us about, remember, from the stories? I know you like them and Daddy wouldn't be able to argue, the pack needs one."

Jasmine may or may not have heard Apollo's occasional rambles about how he would be a doctor because he was too good to fight or hunt. He didn't like serving, apparently thinking himself above everyone else. Ursa didn't mind it sometimes since Apollo was the least rough of her brothers and sisters. Sometimes he got annoying but, Ursa could usually tune him out when he got that bad. Mommy told her all pups were a little vain sometimes, Apollo was just going through the phase early. Ursa hoped it would pass but held no real hopes for it. Still, no one could stop Jasmine from trying, everyone could try. If Dusk could find someone to teach them herbs, maybe both Apollo and Jasmine could be doctors? Then they could both be happy.

Ursa already knew she would be a scout someday, patrolling the borders and keeping her ears and eyes open for unwelcome invaders or possible new packmates. There was some fighting involved but, not as much as being a firefighter. Mommy always called Ursa a "Little Guardian" because she was always alert, the first to jump up when someone got hurt because they played too rough or the first to say Daddy was coming before the other pups noticed his scent or heard his heavy pawsteps. Ursa could only hope Jasmine could find something like that, something that made her happy and gave her something to work to. Maybe she would be a firefighter, if she could learn to balance in battle but who would teach her? Ursa just hoped her suggestion of being a doctor instead of a fighter wouldn't make Jasmine mad or make her think Ursa was suggesting she do something easy because she was disabled.

[Cursed Heavens {Uzuri Grace}]

{xxx}

~Jasmine's twisted paw buckled and she fell down. Her chin smacking the hard cold earth and made a huffing sound. She growled in frustration. It's because she didn't use her paw so often that it was so weak. She has to strengthen it if she was to walk right. Though thanks to her big paws she would still be clumsy until she grows a bit more. At least having her splayed paw out of the way she wouldn't be as clumsy as she is now. She grumbled and got to her paws warily. It wasn't fear that made her cautious though, if she goes too fast she wouldn't be able to be graceful. Grace counts on everything, its balance, without balance you are dead and she won't dare be that. She just started her life she has too much to lose. Jasmine looked down for a moment, looking at her right front leg tremble a little from the different point of her paw is. She waited for a few heartbeats and thankful that she didn't buckle and fall. When she stands up she presses most of her weight on her other three legs than her right. That's why there is more muscle on the three than her right front. It will change in the future, she would make sure of that.~

{xxx}

~She breathed in relief but hold half of it as she started to press most of her weight on her right leg. It trembled more and she stopped breathing for a heartbeat as it widened the tremble and started to buckle again. Before she fell again she released the weight from her paw and sat down. Jasmine bit down a curse. The last time she made a curse her mother got angry with her. She continued to sit down and look down at the earth, her jaw loosened and gapped a little with her baby blue eyes clouded, showing she was in deep thought. Three times she fell down, no most likely four if you count the first step. She always fell, it couldn't just be the weak leg. Maybe its because she's pressing too much weight on her right leg. Zytka told her to take one step at a time. Aunt is so clever, she and Jasmine talk a lot and she always have some advise for Jasmine to think over. Mama said it was part of grace to take one step at a time and she always told her to take it slow and one step at a time when her and her siblings go out for walks and that. She thought about it some more and relished the thought about letting go some of the weight. Jasmine tightened her maw and was about to get back on her paws till she remembered her sister was still with her.~

{xxx}

~"There are other things," Ursa growled softly, as Jasmine got to her paws again, losing half her concentration. She stumbled half way but caught herself again. Jasmine bit back the familiar growl of frustration and just paused to listen to her sister. She was thankful that her sister didn't come next to her to help. Though Jasmine knew that Ursa must be itching to help her sister. She knows Ursa well enough. "You don't need to fight or run or hunt to be useful. You could be a doctor, then you could do everything you want. You could see those plants our parents tell us about, remember, from the stories? I know you like them and Daddy wouldn't be able to argue, the pack needs one." Jasmine looked away from her sister and to where she thought her brothers and sisters were. She thought about being a doctor for this pack and relished over the thought. Yeah, part of her wanted to be a doctor for this pack, being one would give her freedom. Yet she thought about her father, how he protect Mama from the daemon. His strength, his desire, his motives she wants to be someone like him. Be strong, have the desire to protect and save lives, and motives to live. She wants to be a warrior and a healer, that way she can use her fangs on her solid enemies and fight against the enemies she can't use her fangs on. Jasmine wants to be a doctor that can fight off her enemies of all kinds. She wants to travel through all kinds of land, hunt and taste all kinds of foods, know all kinds of herbs, see all kinds of dogs and cities. She wants to be independent... more than she already is. "I know," she replied.~

{xxx}

~Apollo came to mind. She knew full well what he wants, her brother is so loud when he talks she bet even a deaf dog can hear him talk. He wants to be a doctor too and she has no problem with that. Apollo would be a good healer she knew he would be. Jasmine knew she could be too since she would do her best though with her bad temper she probably wouldn't have that good of a touch. Apollo is sweet, though he gloats and boost a lot she knows he can do it as long as he sets his mind to it. Who knows he might even grow up a little since they are all just newborns and would change through the time. That's what Zytka said to all of them, they will change as they grow up. "But that isn't good enough for me. I want to become stronger, because I want to become the best I can be. Need or have to has nothing to do with this. This is what I want." She got to her paws again and concentrated hard. Jasmine released some of the weight off her right paw and put a bit more equal weight on all three. She waited for a few moments and felt her right leg tremble a little but not as much as before... and she didn't buckle. Jasmine smiled and turned to her sister. "I want to travel without the need of someone at my side. I want to battle and see my first daemon without the fear of losing my balance. I want to become someone like Papa, be the best I can be and challenge my self everyday."~

{xxx}

~Jasmine turned back to the earth and lifted her left front paw instead of her right. The extra weight of her body made her right leg buckle a little but before she fell she put her left front paw down further in front of her quickly. She still stood her ground and didn't fall down. Jasmine's right lip rose a little, not even an inch. This time she took another step but this time using her right hind leg. It was easier than the last step. Soon as she gets her stepping right without the fear of falling she will do strides, she will walk slowly at first then when she gets the handle of it she will be able to walk properally. She will practice on that a little, then work on her running, after that she will work on stealth, after that she will work on digging. After that she will work on jumping, and after that she will learn how to fight. With this training she is sure she would be able to play as rough as she wants with her sisters and brothers without her papa worrying. She would even show him by getting stronger. After that she is sure by the time her siblings are aloud to go out of the junkyard she would be able to go with them. Mama and Papa won't have to argue about her anymore she is sure of it. No one will worry or pity her ever again, she won't allow it. Jasmine paused and thought about skipping this subject, but she isn't going to stop walking, she is going to do it all day until she loses all her energy. "Anyway, what about you? I know Daisy wants to be the deputy, Sin and Koda most likely will be firefighters and I know Apollo wants to be a doctor. But what do you want to be?" Jasmine thought about Ursa, how direct and open minded she is to the world around her. She could most likely be an officer, they scout around the junkyard and guard it.~

[::Fox::]

Jasmine's rejection made Ursa's ears twitch as the blue-grey eyes followed Jazz. She knew her sister was frustrated, surrounded by strong dogs like Dusk and Zytka all the time. Ursa always felt overwhelmed by her father and Zytka, constantly slipping away from them to her mother. Ana wasn't much less potent than either husky but Ursa knew her mother wouldn't question her on why she did things or why she walked away when the others played. Jasmine felt it worse than her and Ursa knew it all too well. Ana may defend Jazz's right to play but she never let Jazz wonder off alone like Ursa could sometimes. Even in their junkyard home, there were dangers for young pups, at least that was what their parents always said. Ursa had found things that looked scary but turned out to be harmless, she had not ever found anything that had hurt her. With Jasmine that wasn't the case. To someone with as poor balance and coordination as her twisted paw caused, everything could be dangerous to Jazz. Ursa hated to admit it, even to herself, but her sister would always be hindered, in danger of something because one slip could make a harmless thing dangerous.

When Jasmine flipped the topic from herself to her siblings, Ursa blinked curiously at her sister, taken by surprise for a moment. As the other pup's words sank in, Ursa ducked her head a little and shuffled her paws. All of her siblings were ambitious. They wanted big things, high ranks, privilege and whatever else. Maybe it was because they were the chief's children or just because they had strong parents, Ursa didn't know which, she just knew that gene had totally skipped her over. Apollo wanted to be a doctor, Jasmine wanted to be a powerful fighter, Daisy had her eyes on deputy and for all Ursa knew, Sin might want to be the next chief or maybe even Koda. All of those dreams were possible, driven, bright, respectable. They were things that Dusk and Ana could be proud of. They could boast to others, if they ever boasted, that their pups were strong or skilled or smart or whatever. Compared to them, Ursa felt small and harmless. She may be the most emotionally stable but she was not ambitious. Power and authority held no appeal to her, ranks being nothing but random labels stuck on dogs. Dusk would never be able to say his firstborn daughter was the first female chief of the Morg Pack or that she was a lifesaving doctor or a praised firefighter.

Laying her ears against her head, the rose-gold pup looked at the compacted earth under her paws. "I'll do whatever they tell me to do," she said finally with a shrug. "I don't have any real skills, I'm not strong like Sin and Koda or smart like Apollo. An officer would be okay I guess, if Dad lets me do it."

Mother always said Ursa was humble almost to a fault. Zytka, even though she didn't say it out loud, no doubt thought Ursa was a weakling because she didn't play. She'd heard Zytka's stories about the wolves and how she and Dusk had roamed together for a while. There was power in Zytka and all the dogs Ursa was being raised around. Ana had told them about living on the streets, being left by the humans. In Ursa's mind, her mother was just as strong as Zytka if not more so. Dusk, there was no contest. Her Daddy was strong, Ursa would never deny it or disbelieve it, it was fact. Sin and Koda liked to romp and showed promise as strong males to protect and fight for the pack. Apollo was plenty smart and Daisy had charisma on her side. Ursa always ducked her head when someone tried to praise her, purposefully took the fall for her siblings, didn't like to romp and was too quiet. All she could do was look around and listen. Protecting a small family, that would be all her skills were good for, if they could even be called skills. Ursa knew officers seldom went anywhere in life, they didn't have the glory of battle, just endless patrols. Was it wrong if something like that was okay with her? Was it even okay? Was she selling herself short or just being realistic?

Giving a sheepish smile to Jasmine, Ursa flicked her tail. "I'm more likely to be an omega than you are Jazz, I don't have skills like you and the others. All I do is look at things and listen. Not much of a place for dogs like that."

Most dogs wouldn't be happy settling with that but oddly, Ursa felt just acceptance. If that was what she was meant to be and nothing else, just an officer, then so be it. Maybe someday she'd come up with something better but, she was young, really young. It hurt her head too much to think about the future for too long. She preferred taking things as they came, emotional breakdowns, victories, defeats, problems, solutions, everything one at a time. She'd figure out her place when the time was right and if nothing else, she'd take the easy way and just accept being an officer. Maybe she didn't know her skills because she was young?

[Cursed Heavens {Uzuri Grace}]

{xxx}

~Jasmine kept walking, still clumsy with her splayed paw but better than before. She smiled, now she was getting somewhere. She told herself that she should keep doing this every day till she no longer need the practice to. Jasmine had so many dreams, so many roads to take. She was a dreamer kind of dog, always dreaming of something. Dreaming of something she mostly thinks of the future. All the thinking made her head hurt. Zytka told her in a sarcastic way that if she keeps thinking so much she'll go brain dead. Jasmine always loved Zytka and her mother speaking sarcastically. That's why when she grows up she wants to speak sarcastically too like them. She finds it funny on everyone's faces when she does it. Zytka did it a lot and every dog had a funny face on them that made Jasmine giggle. Nevertheless, she knew what Zytka meant by it, its okay to think once and awhile but too much and you forget about others. She doesn't want to forget her family and her pack, she loves them too much even if they annoy her she knows they love her too. Plus dreaming wouldn't make her stronger and it wouldn't help her make those dreams of hers actually come true.~

{xxx}

~She paused when she heard Ursa starting to talk. "I'll do whatever they tell me to do," her sister said with a shrug. "I don't have any real skills, I'm not strong like Sin and Koda or smart like Apollo. An officer would be okay I guess, if Dad lets me do it." Jasmine still walked back and forth slowly but she had most of her concentration on her sister. She blinked and thought why her sister sounded so troubled and doubtful. Jasmine looked at her sister and found her sad and lonely. Her baby blue eyes clouded in wonder. Was Ursa as doubtful of her future as Jasmine. She knew she was determined enough to be as good as she can be but no matter how determined you can be there will always be a chance to fail. Like walking a frail bridge with a black abyss below. Jasmine knew she might never be able to become the dog she wants but she knew she can't let her doubts beat her down. Doubt and fear is your greatest enemy, it can crush down determination. Just like Dusk's great stone wall shattered to million of pieces by just one fem that was Anastasia. The only way to win against those enemies is not just by determination along but with other things too. Isn't that why a lone dog is only a pesky fly to an enemy but when a there is a pack its a huge unbeatable swarm of flies. Jasmine is young and doesn't know anything from just a few weeks of living. Yet she did learn the major things from her parents and from her aunt. Plus all the thinking gave her a lot of theories that are just waiting to be unraveled.~

{xxx}

~The tri colored husky mix stopped her walking and turned to her sister when Ursa spoke again. This time Jasmine was really worried. All frustration she had that was lingering in her gut was gone. Only her love to her family is the only thing that can dissolve the anger in her. Like Ursa she has a strong sense of protection, she wouldn't dare let herself harm the dogs she cares about most. Plus Ursa had always been there for her like a big sister should and she is happy for that. "I'm more likely to be an omega than you are Jazz, I don't have skills like you and the others. All I do is look at things and listen. Not much of a place for dogs like that." Jasmine stared in surprise. The worry went in mixed in the anger that sparked, not in her gut but in her heart. When it sparks in her heart it means you struck a personal sensitive point in Jasmine. The multiple colored husky lowed her head low and looked like she closed her eyes. "What are you saying?" Jasmine growled, a speck of anger in her voice. She couldn't help herself but get mad, she is of course a hot head. Yet she knew how to control it better than most hotheads and would continue to work on it because her father isn't a hot head. She wouldn't either.~

{xxx}

~Her heart roared, it wanted to go out of her mouth and tackle her sister and hit her to knock sense out of her. Yet she bit it down, she bored her jaw so tightly that her teeth began to hurt. Her lips twitched from the control. Jasmine will not hurt her sister, well not badly but she will not seriously hurt her. Besides, Zytka could get through to dogs with just her voice, Jasmine could try that. Though she is very inexperienced. "Are you telling me your going to give up?" She growled, almost to a snarl but she bore it down as best as she could. Jasmine rose her head up, the anger in her voice did not show in her eyes, just great sadness and longing. "Ursa you can't say that, you can't let yourself doubt like that. Sure you can hear things but it is a talent. You can't become an omega, your a great dog, powerful in your heart." Jasmine closed her eyes tightly shut to hold down the emotions boring in her heart. It may seem like she's just overreacting but to Jasmine it isn't. The thing is she looks up to Ursa. Sure she doesn't like to fight but she is so strong hearted and that powerful heart can give you the power to protect others. Jasmine took control and told herself she wouldn't allow her sister to become an omega. She told herself if Ursa becomes an omega she will become one too so her sister wouldn't be alone. Jasmine opened her baby blue eyes slowly and looked at Ursa's paws like she was really exhausted, she was. For a hothead like her its hard to control your anger as hard as Jasmine is doing now. "No," Jasmine walked smoothly, to her sister, not even thinking about splayed paw. Her voice was soft and quiet, all anger that was once there was gone. "You are strong Ursa, sure an officer doesn't get to do much but they are more important than the firefighters. Like Papa says, the officers are their eyes and ears, without them we are vulnerable and naked. So promise me this that if I become stronger you won't doubt yourself anymore." Jasmine sat down in front of her sister and looked at her sister's grey blue eyes with the soft friendship that burned in her baby blues.~